A lot of times, my blog
focuses on the many things that Afghanistan is missing. But I don’t generally
talk about the things that Afghanistan offers—mainly because the perks are few
and far between. But that being said there are some pretty cool things about
living here.
Cool things about
Afghanland:
The food is not only free;
it’s also all you can eat. Good luck.
Recently developed housing
that also comes furnished.
Air Conditioning. Year
round.
Cashmere scarves for $10
Danger Pay and Crappy
Living Pay.
Personal Trainers. Oh
heyoo American tax dollars! Jaykay! I’m on a NATO base so Europe pays for it.
(I’m pretty sure but I can’t actually verify the validity of this fact. Don’t
hate. I pay taxes too. And I’m now in great shape so thank you for your
donation.)
A rather disproportionate
ratio of men to women. Which is totally cool with me. Until of course, you
combine my gym time and the disproportionate number of men to women. At which
point this scenario occurs—
This really happens
everywhere, but the gym is probably the number one place to get stared down.
Possibly because I workout in shorts or possibly because I work out at the
European gym and Europe seems to be more lax in the staring department. Either
way I’m developing anxiety.
Jessica’s Stream of
Consciousness Upon Getting Checked Out
Check for pants. Check for
shirt. Touch shorts to double-check that they are indeed on my body. Look down
to ensure all clothing hasn’t disappeared. Recheck for shirt. Is there toilet
paper stuck on my shoe? Did I sit in mustard? Am I wearing pants? What are you
looking at? Tell me!
Literally, this happens
every time. Unless it’s a car that is driving unusually slow by me in which
case I reevaluate my chances at the Olympic event of speed walking because I’m
clearly walking 20 kph. They’re not being weird; I’m just that fast. Winner.
Please don’t think I’m
trying to brag about how I’m really awesome (I am awesome.) but remember there
is a pretty big lack of females on base. And finally, I’m not looking for
compliments. Some of those stares look down right hostile and would make you
think you sat in mustard too. Also, I may or may not be traumatized from an 8th
grade Halloween experience of “sitting in Ketchup”.
#Olympics2016 #Brazil