If you ever make the decision to live in Afghanistan don’t be surprised if one day, by no choice of your own, you are attacked by a needle-bearing woman claiming to be a doctor. Next thing you’ll know your body will have been injected with an entire regimen of vaccinations—ranging from influenza to elephantiasis. Truthfully, there was only about 8 vaccines to choose from and I declined most of them. Bring it on, Anthrax!
The follow up “we’ve injected you full of diseases and want to see how you’re handling it” appointment could definitely have gone better. The doctor started by asking me if I had any preexisting medical conditions. I began my list. His follow up question was if I would have access to the army’s medical facilities. Nope. He shook his head. Next question—Do you have a full 6 months of any prescription medicine? Uhm possibly? Another shake. Next question—Do you have any allergies? I feel like I should have started lying two questions ago but before this logic had caught up to my brain I’d already told the doctor about my allergy. He prescribed me two EpiPens. Then as a side note mentioned if I used them I’d have to return home. If this piece of information wasn’t enough to discourage me the kind lady at the pharmacy took the time to demonstrate how to use an EpiPen. She even managed to drudge up an expired one and a cardboard box. The needle wasn’t even through both layers of cardboard before I swore there would be no way on Earth I’d be returning from Afghanistan due to EpiPen usage.
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